Main Page
Chokra's Origins
Laugh A While
Celebrity Pics
Cyber Journey
Your Corner
Site Owners Pic

Take Off Your 'Quote' And Be Comfortable

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley (1889-1945), American Humorist, Critic

You have entered the Quotations Zone. This place is not for the weak-hearted. You need to have have the wisdom to comprehend and adopt the exemplary standards enshrined in the Words of Wisdom of those who have left their footprints on the sands of time.

Having said that, this page is also for those who don't take life seriously and just wanna have some fun. For blokes like these, I recommend the Funny Quotes section.

Wherever known, the quotes have been attributed to the respective authors.

Words of Wisdom


"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Spencer Churchill

"Some people see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not?" - Robert F. Kennedy

"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, Some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." - William Shakespeare

"We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them. " - Titus Livius

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. - John Stuart Mill

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open. - Sir James Dewar, Scientist

Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. - John Powell

I know I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. - Socrates

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the timeut you cannot fool all the people at all the times. - Abraham lincoln

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Buddha

When you are right, you cannot be too radical, when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative. - Martin Luther King Jr.

"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality." - Jules de Gaultier

Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. - Henry Van Dyke

"The only way to have a friend is to be one." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." - Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet (British Puritan Poet)

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself." - Chinese Proverb

"From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life." - Arthur Ashe

"All people have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory." - motto of the King's Guard in ancient Greece

"For most of human history we have searched for our place in the cosmos. Who are we? What are we? We find that we inhabit an insignificant planet of a hum-drum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgoten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxys than people. We make our world significant by the courage of our questions, and by the depth of our answers." - Carl Sagan

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

"The time is always right to do what is right. " - Martin Luther King, Jr.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte If you're still hanging onto a dead dream of yesterday, laying flowers on its grave by the hour, you cannot be planting the seeds for a new dream to grow today. -Joyce Chapman (American Author)

I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. - Thomas Edison

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. " - Anthony Robbins

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. - Norman MacEwan

The graveyards are full of indispensable men. - Charles de Gaulle

The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living at doing what they most enjoy. - Malcomb S. Forbes (American Publisher, Businessman)

"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance." - Derek Bok, Ex-president of Harvard

"Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve." - George Bernard Shaw

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

"I never thought i always knew i'd look back on my tears and laugh, but i never knew i'd look back on my laughter and cry" - Unknown

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams

Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. - William Shakespeare

Funny Quotes

smiley1   smiley2   smiley3  

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. " - Albert Einstein

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. - Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens]

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - Groucho Marx

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. - Winston Churchill

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. - Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens]

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. - Jane Wagner

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics. - Benjamin Disraeli

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating. - Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens]

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake when you make it again. - F. P. Jones

As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. - Hunter S. Thompson's Attorney

Her kisses left something to be desired - the rest of her.

Sure God created man before woman.. but then you always make a rough draft before The Final Masterpiece.

Definition of Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's desire to beat or choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.

"Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done." - Ernie Kovacs

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

The only difference between graffiti and philosophy is the word fuck...

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

A bird in the hand will probably shit on your wrist.

"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books." - Alan King

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations." - David Friedman

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped." - Sam Levenson

"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with." - W. C. Fields

"Doing a thing well is often a waste of time." - Robert Byrne

"I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs." - Samuel Goldwyn

"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." - Burt Bacharach

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." - Darrin Weinberg

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

"I know Kung Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words." - Jo Ramos

There are two essential basic strategies for success in business:
1. Never reveal all you know

A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

One of the major functions of skin is to keep people who look at you from throwing up. - Actual exam answer

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

You spend your whole life believing that you're on the right track, only to discover that you're on the wrong train.

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. " - Sir Winston Churchill

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. " - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. " - Oscar Wilde

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed." - George Burns

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
You can send me your feedback on this site by clicking here.  email